The G's 2014 Melbourne Ironman

I was asked to do another race summary so here goes - Ironman Melbourne. I was promised a flat ocean, silky smooth roads and a scenic, picture perfect run along the beach. How could I refuse. The pain of Ironman NZ had long since left my mind and at the time it seemed like a good idea. A few other lads were signing up so why not?????????????????????????????????????????????

I had everything well planned (for me) I thought I was pretty organised heading off on Friday, arrived at the airport feeling pretty good, checked in and headed through security, the lady at security said I looked familiar, that famous AFL footballer Jack Riewoldt, bloody hell I must be looking pretty fit and trim……………..You look like his father she added, time so sulk off to a dark corner, not so bloody fit and trim after all, so my trip didn’t started on a high, never mind I don’t like AFL anyway .

Plane ended up getting delayed by 4 hours which meant I missed my connecting flight to Melbourne which meant I missed my shuttle bus to my hotel which meant it was going to be touch and go whether I made it in time to register. Not a big concern because I had no problem going down, eating crappy food and laughing at other people suffering. Anyway, by the time I got to Melbourne the only option I had was to get a taxi, no drama shouldn’t be too expensive getting a cab to St Kilda, bloody hell $99.10 plus a generous 0.90c tip later I got to my hotel and did a mad dash to registration, had a full 15 minutes to spare so no problem. After a pretty stressful trip I need some beer and greasy food, luckily enough Ben and Cathy had found the perfect combination the day before and it was right next to a bakery so some greasy food, beers and sweets later I was feeling much better until I looked at the ocean and saw all the white caps, bloody ocean.

The course at Melbourne is a bit different in that the swim and bike starts are at Frankston, 40 odd km south of the finish line at St Kilda. The run is point to point and follows the bay (what I thought) which is a very long point to get to especially when someone pointed out the finish from the beach at Frankston, you could just make out the buildings on the horizon in the distance, it looked like a f%&king long way.

Race morning I was feeling pretty good, I was sure I had more swim and bike training under my belt than IMNZ wasn’t so sure about the run. In the morning buses pick you up from St Kilda and take you down to the start. Seemed to take an awful long time to get down to Frankston, I kept thinking I have to run all that way back.

The weather gods were actually pretty kind on race day, the ocean was only a little choppy with very little wind. Couldn’t complain. The race is started in waist deep water, I knew there was supposedly 2,500 people doing it, when we lined up in the water 2,500 looks like a lot of people, especially when we all start at the same time, was feeling pretty good, had my ginger pills on board (for sea sickness), had swum the distance before, water was pretty clear and I was confident this time the oldest competitor in the race wasn’t going to beat me in the swim, Geoffrey Thorsen 70-74 age bracket, couldn’t see him at the start, didn’t matter, I didn’t need to trash talk him because I was going to smash him in the swim.

Gun sounded and we were off, 2,500 thrashing bodies all trying to get to the first turn around buoy is pretty hectic, I reckon my goggles got knocked off 5 times in the first 800m getting to the first buoy, arms, legs, bodies everywhere, this isn’t much fun, the first buoy was crazy, in my case a mass of crappy swimmers trying to get around the bouy, next buoy was pretty much the same but it seemed to spread out after that, the swim was actually surprising good, I didn’t feel sick (thanks to my great idea with the ginger pills), I reached the final turn around thinking this is ok, I’m swimming good, not much breast stroke, only 1km to go, my only frustration on the last leg was I could see the bottom most of the way, I kept trying to stand up but it was deeper than it looked, never mind made it the end feeling good, a few high fives to the people around me as we were wading in, whoop whoop all good……………………………….. then what do I hear over the speakers, Geoffrey bloody Thorsen, oldest competitor in the field has finished the swim, crap!!!

 

Anyway headed through transition, got my liquid gold cream, applied very liberally, was promised I wouldn’t get a sore backside if I used it, good enough for me, grabbed my bike and headed out to the bike start, had a few strange looks my way, mmmmm that’s odd, anyway I was feeling good and looking forward to the silky smooth roads, got to the start line, a few more funny looks my way then I’m off.

Bike is 2 laps 45k out and back, then again. To my great pleasure the promise of smooth roads came true, very very smooth and reasonably flat, the ride like the swim was really good, the liquid gold was doing its thing, I was eating as much free stuff as I could grab at the aide stations and seemed to be riding pretty good, I heard the day before that the pro’s have a can of red bull on the way round to give them a boost, what’s good for them is good for me so I had one ready for the last inbound leg. Turned for the homeward leg, slugged back my red bull rocket fuel and was ready to fly back, unfortunately the weather gods who had been so kind changed their mind and decided to give me a head wind all the way back, slowly getting stronger and stronger, bugger. Wasn’t to fazed because I was actually feeling pretty good. Finally made it back to the bike finish, a bit tired but all in all pretty good, that is until I jumped off the bike, bloody hell, sitting on the bike for 6hours wasn’t that great for the back, I couldn’t stand up straight, did the old man hobble back to transition, crap I was feeling so good to, never mind, bit of sit down, change into the running gear bit of a feed and drink then I’m off.

 

Felt very average for the first couple of km, did the old man shuffle until my back loosened up then I started to feel pretty good, was thinking I’m doing great, must have been a pretty good bike time, run is feeling ok, this is going to be great. Was feeling pretty good until about 17k, was busting for the toilet so stopped at the aide station but someone jumped in front of me, shit, I waited for a minute, then another minute, then another minute, thinking he can’t be too much longer, some very unpleasant noises started coming from the portaloo, it got to the point where there was no way I was going to face whatever he was leaving in there, so decided to make a dash for the next aide station, was getting very uncomfortable by the time I burst through the portaloo door, thank god for that, unfortunately as one part of me started to relax, other parts started to tighten, bugger, I started to try and run but it wasn’t happening, my legs were tight, my shoulders started to hurt and the bottom of my feet started to ache, (brought back not so fond memories of IMNZ) how could I go from feeling ok to feeling like crap in the space of the few minutes, anyway I told myself to run to the next aide station and I should come right, well I shuffled to the next aide station, still no better, shuffled to the next aide station still no better. The last half of the run was pretty much  shuffle from one aide station to the next, my feet and shoulders and legs were hurting more and more, the k’s were taking longer and longer to pass, with about 4k to go Stevie ran up next to me looking far to fresh, we shuffled the last few kilometres together, the finishing chute never looked so good. I even managed to run the last 100 metres properly (never walk in front of the crowd)

 

In hindsight the day was really good except for the last half of the run. Found out later the reason for the funny looks I was getting at the bike start. I must have wiped my hand over my face somewhere between liberally applying the liquid gold and the bike start, I had arse cream all over my face, not my best look.

Was a really good event, bike was the highlight, awesome smooth roads. I’ve done 4 Ironmans, 2 were ok, 2 were major sufferfests, I reckon I’ve learnt my lesson now so no more  (for now)

G