The G at IMNZ

Thought I’d better give you the traditional ironman summary.

Arrived in Taupo in high spirits, always wanted to do IMNZ so was pretty excited and fresh from my lean training schedule, the forecast was great, bike arrived in one piece, super hot chick in the room next door sun bathing on the shared balcony :) all was looking good, what could possibly go wrong?????????????

Went for a ride on the Thursday, 200m down the road flat tyre, 3 gas canisters later tyre was still flat, spare tube was shagged, never mind, best to have the flat now than during the race, bad luck out of the way and saved some energy for the race.

Thursday afternoon went for a swim, swam about 100m and my googles kept leaking and the lake was a bit choppy, mmmmmmmmmmmm not happy as in total I reckon I had 5 swims this year totaling about 3km so was slightly nervous about my ability to get through the swim, never mind it will be calm on race morning.

Went to the pre race briefing, was good seeing all the pro’s and the oldies, they got some lady Betty who was 74 and Garth Barfoot 76 on stage to inspire the rest of us, if they can do it then should be a walk in the park for me, feeling pretty good about the race.

Friday out for the pre race dinner with my brother, burger fuel was the place of choice, burger of choice “the bastard” with the works mmmmmmmmmmmmm left feeling extremely bloated and content, how good is this.

Race morning was pretty awesome 1400 people milling around, the weather gods were kind, the lake was perfectly flat, some Maoris on a Waka (canoe) arrived at the start with a traditional welcome and haka which was pretty cool.

Was talking to guy from country NSW in the water before we started, said he was 100k from the nearest pool so trained in one of his dams, told him my swim training, he shook his head and swam away. Anyway gun went off and we were away, the water was crystal clear, plan was to somehow survive the swim, and all was going great, I reached the turn around, thought I was swimming pretty fast, this is easy must be fitter than I thought, about 10 minutes later the lake had started to chop up, my arms stated to die and I thought this isn’t so easy, anyway made it to the final buoy, only 100m to go, could see the finish, heard the announcer say Betty the oldest female competitor has just finished the swim mmmmmmmmm maybe I’m not swimming so fast, anyway reached the end just under an hour and a half so not bad considering, survived the swim and I wasn’t feeling to bad.

I was feeling good as I got changed and headed out for the bike, stopped get sprayed with sun block, front then back, bloody hell felt like someone had stabbed me in the neck, squealed like a baby, obviously the chaffing from my wetsuit and the spray block didn’t agree, anyway off on the bike, heard the announcer say great biking conditions, may get a bit hot later on, no prob, I live in Australia, heat isn’t a problem.

Bike is 2 laps of 90km, hilly at the start, then flat. Was feeling good passing lots of people, passed Betty, thought better of it than to trash talk her. First lap was great, was feeling good started the second lap thinking this is great I’m going awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! then the gods decided to get nasty, the temperature started to get hotter and hotter, at 120k my legs started to go, I was thinking only 60k to go you’ll be right drinks lots, at the turn around 135k in kapooooooooooom, the bomb went off, I had pretty much completely blown up, I was thinking shit how the hell am I going to ride another 45k, struggled through to the aid station at 150k, crawled off the bike and grabbed a bottle of coke, coke always gives you energy so sculled most of that, had a bit to eat and thought, I shouldn’t have been such a lazy bastard with the training, legs were gone, was stinking hot and I still had 30k to go, jumped back on the bike and managed to get going, can’t remember much about the rest of the bike other than about 15k out there is a long climb, probably 6k or 7k not to steep but enough to make you work, slowly ground my way up, almost made it to the top thinking it’s all downhill into town just get to the top, when bang the cramps started. Shit!!! that’s all I need, coasted most the way back into town, the cramps stopped until the last couple of km when I had to peddle and bang, cramped again, somehow got to transition.

Sat down, thinking WTF, this is the dumbest thing I’ve done in my life, anyway moaned to the helper how my legs were gone, I was over heated and told him I was willing to pay good money if he could find me some really good drugs, he said I’ll be right, legs will come good after a few km, was hoping he was right. Left transition, better not forget the sun block, spray front, turn around for the back SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT forgot about my chaffing, didn’t agree with the sun block second time round either. Anyway off on the run, 3 x 14km laps, first lap wasn’t to bad compared to the last part of the bike. Jogged then walked the aide stations and uphill bits, was surprised when I made it round the first lap. Started the second lap jogging then things started to deteriorate, cramps started again, started to feel sick, shoulders started to hurt, so I started to walk, 26k to go, I had plenty of time until the cut-off how hard could it be to walk the rest of the way???????????, bloody hard, my feet started to really hurt (I need new shoes), my legs were killing me, pretty much everything was hurting, somehow made it the turn around at the top end 21k’s to go, felt pretty bad, went and sat in a portaloo, shut the door and thought what an idiot I was, this sucks, I’m never doing one of these again, triathlons suck, I’m going home to get fat and lazier when this ends, this is going to take a long, long time to finish, would be so easy to pull the pin and stop. Then next to me the door smashed open and someone decorated the next cubicle with puke, snapped me out of my sulk pretty quick, time to get out of there. Continued the slow death march until about half way back when I came across a few fella’s shitting back drinking beers cheering people on. The beer looked good so I went over a bludged a glass and sculled it back, man it was good, would have been so good to lie down there and drown my sorrows, anyway kept going and reached the end of my second lap, only one to go, last lap was actually better than the second, still ached all over and felt like a pile of crap but figured it couldn’t get any worse, lots of people were walking and a few were lying on the ground getting help so I wasn’t the only one suffering, stopped for a beer again on the way round, walked the last 8 or 9k with another person which helped a lot, took my mind of the pain, she had been training for 12months to do the race, when I told her my training she just shook her head, didn’t get anymore sympathy from her. Anyway managed to make the finish, had a couple of hours to spare until the cut-off, shuffled up the finish shute thinking thank god that's over, can’t remember getting the finishing shute buzz you normally get, just a feeling of thank f@#k I don’t have to go any further, chicken soup they served in the recovery tent never tasted so good.

A great event, well run, great location, awesome atmosphere with a heap of spectators cheering you on.

It was the hardest thing physically I have ever done, the ironman a few of us did a couple of years ago was a walk in the park compared to that, I now know that if you go into an ironman with half arse training behind you, you will suffer big time. They say time heals all pain, I hope so, but I’m now incredibly motivated to do some decent training between now and the Port Macquarie ironman in a couple of months, the thought of suffering like I did in the furnace at Taupo is all the motivation I need.

G